Look At Me! Look At Me!

Why do all utility service workers look like either a shifty-eyed stalker or an overweight trucker? I have yet to see the hot utility worker.

I bring this up because I recently had a gas leak at my house and I got the shifty-eyed stalker dude. He couldn't look at me while he was explaining where the leak was and what caused it. His eyes darted wildly back and forth to my shoulder, the floor, my shin, the ceiling, my ankle.... you get the picture. I think it would be safe to say I could have committed a crime and he would never be able to describe me to the police.

I kept thinking this is probably not the kind of guy that needs to be working with dangerous utilities, but... meh... what do I know about the hiring practices of the gas company? Maybe they get the shifty-eyed guys because they don't spend a lot of time chit-chatting with the customers. Maybe it's all an act. Perhaps they are assigned borderline psychotic behavior traits everyday as they are handed their assignments. Toby! Today you are lick-your-lips-alot-and-stare-at-her-chest guy! Don, you're the walk-with-a-limp-and-smell-like-onions guy. It was the luck of the draw. My repair guy drew "shifty-eyes" out of the hat.

Eventually, he fixed the leak and I got him out of the house. But I swear as he was backing out of the driveway he stared straight at me and laughed hysterically.

What's Behind That Curtain?

I sent an e-mail to a movie studio. I was trying to get an address for a friend to mail something to a director. Here's the actual e-mail and the responses i got...


ME: What is the mailing address of director Don Mancini?

THE STUDIO: We can not disclose information about clients or employees.

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ME: Thank you for your reply, I appreciate the response. I understand the need for confidentiality in your business. Can I send a letter to Don Mancini in care of your company? And if so, what is your company address?

THE STUDIO: We can not disclose our address via email. Please visit the director's webpage or fan club for submission information.

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ME: LOL You must have a lot of top secret stuff going on there if you can't give out the studio address! Even the Pentagon gives out it's mailing address. Tell Jimmy Hoffa, Elvis and the aliens you're hiding at the studio I said "Hi!".


Dorktards.