What's In A Name?

Jill! Jill! I heard the woman’s voice calling over and over. I continued walking down the street, not looking back.

Jill! OH JILL!!! She was getting louder and I could tell she was only a few feet behind me as I spun around to see who this crazed lady was. I half expected her to brush past me to rush on to her friend who was obviously somewhere further down the sidewalk.

JILLLL!!! We practically were nose to nose when I turned sharply to give her the evil “what the @$#& are you doing?” look. She smiled and soothed a stray hair into place. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in so long!” She was speaking directly to me. Who was this? Apparently, she had mistaken me for someone she knew, but she went on like she had known me forever.

My mind raced trying to recognize the face. Do I know her? Why is she calling me Jill? “I’m afraid you have the wrong person, my name is Ann.” I lied. “Jilllllll…” she lingered on the name like it was the last bite of chocolate cake at a Weight Watcher’s meeting. “Silly girl! It’s Judy. Judy Benton. You know from the gym.” I was still lost. I haven’t been to the gym in about 6 months.

Without stopping, she launched into all the gossip she knew about all the people we supposedly had in common. This one got married, that one got divorced, someone had triplets, and Barbara’s daughter was still on drugs even though everyone thinks she is pregnant. WTH? It had been a long day and I really didn’t feel like arguing the fact that I had never seen her before. I nodded politely and managed a slight smile.

She eventually ran out of gossip and declared that she simply must finish shopping before her husband gets home, “because you know how he is Jilly”. “Don’t call me Jill” Once again, I tried to explain it wasn’t my name. With a whirlwind of shopping bags and a cloud of some inexpensive perfume, she continued on down the street, but not without saying “we should get together for lunch some time”.

I felt as though I had been hit and dragged by a train that you only run from in your dreams late at night. I stood there numbly and started to walk away. Then it occurred to me, next time this happens I should be prepared. I stopped in a novelty shop, bought a can of “silly string” and armed myself for the next unwanted stranger confrontation.

So if you are ever driving down the street and see someone laughing crazily and shooting silly string all over a complete stranger who is staring at them in horror… that would be me. Jill, Ann, Lucy… whatever they call me.

But what’s in a name?